Dealing with Cancer

Hello

I am new to this blogging but need to talk, my sister Liz Martocci was diagnosed
with lung cancer about seven months ago and her kids have created a foundation to help her and others dealing with this disease.www.lizmartoccilungcancerfoundation.org

I have watched the site and spoken with the children and see the pain they are going through as I have lived it before you see this is the second sister to be hit by this decease.

We lost our sister Sheryl to Rectal Cancer in 1976, I was 14 at the time and watched this 21 year old woman deteriorate in front of my eyes. She lost her battle after only 6 months, we also lost Sheryl's daughter Kelly to Brain Cancer in 1985.

It has been 23 years since we dealt with this last dealt with this but the fear of losing another has been weighing on my mind. I don't get to see Liz much anymore as we have families of our own that takes up a great deal of our time, there was a time when we were young that we were best friends and I miss that.

I pray that Liz will beat this disease but I know the realty is that she will not.

I need her to know that she is Loved, not only by her children but by her brothers and mother as well.

In closing I ask that anyone who may see this to visit the site and help in anyway you can.


Tim

The Meaning of Strong

When you have posted the blogs of your siblings, writing one seems hard.. Getting a text message saying “This is the worst I have ever seen, it reminds me of the video you showed me” “Her face is swollen and she has spots on her arms”. How are you supposed to feel? My brother sent that to me via text. Then my sister in Law Jazmine calls crying telling me how much paid mom is in.
Both my brother and sister have asked what is “strong”. Trust me I ask myself that all the time. Well www.m-w.com says
1: having or marked by great physical power
2: having moral or intellectual power
3: having great resources (as of wealth or talent)
4: of a specified number
5 a: striking or superior of its kind, a strong resemblance, b: effective or efficient especially in a specified direction -strong on watching other people work — A. Alvarez

The only way I know to deal with my own pain is to point out my brother, sister and I, WE all have all of these.
1: having or marked by great physical power, We have god and the Universe Working for us.
2: having moral or intellectual power, We have intellectual power, together we are all smarter
3: having great resources (as of wealth or talent) We have amazing resources, we showed that when the foundation started.
4: of a specified number We have an amazing network of friends, online and off.
5 a: striking or superior of its kind (a strong resemblance) b: effective or efficient especially in a specified direction strong on watching other people work — A. Alvarez

We are working as hard as we know how to, to help those living with lung cancer. www.LizMartocciLungCancerFoundation.org

The last 48 hours have been painful. I sit waiting by the phone. This morning I talked to my mom. I was caught off guard, as mom sounded good. I could tell she was tired but she never let on to the pain. I often wonder if she does it for me, or because she actually feels ok. Then I hang up the phone and wonder if her physical pain is similar or worse to the emotional paid I am feeling. I am a member of inspire.com and I know there are people dealing with lung cancer sometimes say things to make those “not diagnosed” feel better, but the road works both ways. Just Friday I was talking to my mom when I had to pause to compose myself. As much I try to be “strong” in this example maybe #1 works. Its fricken HARD.
It’s hard for so many reasons. Because I am not there for my mom, because I am not there for my family. How does pops feel? This must be crushing him inside. I can only imagine the pressure on his chest is similar to the pressure on my mom’s colon.
In ending this blog, I am going to close with the fact I slept maybe 3 hours last night. Somehow I think my mind will only allow me to do the same tonight. Cancer takes a toll on everyone involved. My roommates feel it, co-workers, my friends (outside of my amazing roommates) my dog, the guy at Fresh and Easy feels it. Cancer is something that once it has touched you in a personal way affects your being. You can do one of two things, let it affect you, or affect it! Kick Cancer in the Rear!!!!!

It's 9:43 Cali time and I text my mom to see if she was up, she said "No have a little pain tried trying to get a little shut i". I text her back and told her "I loved her and sweet dreams."

God Bless,
Dan Hart
Join us March 8th for the First San Diego Lung Cancer Walk

Inspirations

Lately I haven't been I able to find the words to blog. I often read my brothers' blogs to find the inspiration to continue my day. Lately I'm struggling emotionally. Mom's in the hospital again. Last night was the worst I have ever seen her. It gets harder for me everytime. Sometimes it's hard for me to get up in the morning, I just want to sleep, I guess I think that if I sleep all day I won't have to think about it. Every down moment I had today was thoughts of my mom lying in the hospital bed sleeping, with her face swollen and moaning because of the pain she is in. I just can't get that picture out of my mind. I want so badly to make her pain go away. I wish I could comfort her. I can't find the words to tell her it's ok. I look at my children and know that I must continue every day because they need me. My boyfriend told me today to be strong. How?? Really how do I be strong? I know that my children need me to be. I wouldn't be the woman I am today if my mom wasn't strong for me. But the thought of losing her is killing me inside slowly. I wonder if my mom feels like she is slowly dying. Please forgive me anyone if my thoughts are offensive to anyone but this is what I'm feeling. The thoughts I am thinking. I am fighting so hard to get through my days. I'm angry, sad, confused. All I want is to have my mom back. The woman who held my hand and wiped away my tears. Mom I will hold your hand and wipe away your tears. It's funny how things work now. Our parents take care of us and then we take care of them. In closing I will say find your inspirations to go on. You can get through it.
With love until next time
Laura

That Call

Well here we go again mom was supposed to have radiation today but instead I got THAT CALL. saying “mom has to go to the emergency room because of severe stomach pain”. So I told Jaz to keep me posted and that when I got off work, I would come by the hospital and see how things are going. When I got there it was a little bit more than I have seen in the past this time was probably the worst. It kind of reminded me of a video that my brother has shown me in the past. That video was a scary real life experience that somebody else was going thru, and I see that video in my mom right now. Boy I don’t want to see that video come to real life for mom and her family but now I think that it really is coming and I just don’t know how to really deal with that. All the pain I saw her suffering from her face looking like the guy from pure luck (remember when he gets stung by a bee). Wow this is some real shit sometimes I wonder when that one phone call comes that nobody wants is going to come. Will it be tomorrow or will it be 5 years from now. Who knows only 2 people, the man upstairs and my very lovely mother. Maybe the pain that she is suffering is from the toxins build up from her not doing number 2 for a week, maybe it’s just the cancer taking over who knows. I just wish this will all go away and mom back to the way she was when we were little kids. As we get older things are going to come into our lives that we have no control over. That's what’s messed up about life. in closing I would like to say nobody wants that phone call but what are u going to do when it comes I guess deal with it like all the other calls that have been made.
with love
Jeffrey J Hart

Live Long, Live Happy, and Smile More!!!!!!

I am not sure how to start this blog. I am a hard working man; I have been working since I was 12 years old. I used to buy candy for a nickel and resell it for a dime; I used to sell newspaper subscriptions door to door. That was the 80’s; no parent in their right mind would allow their child to hop in a van smoking from the tail pipe, filed with carpet inside these days. Yet I think my mom was proud!

The 90’s allowed me thousands of blessed moments. I met Charlie, Scott, Sherry and Shirley to name a few. I met Frank who helped me over come many of the things I am not going to blog about tonight. If anyone ever talks bad about 90’s style, well they can, just don’t bad mouth the friends I made, sorry to my 90’s friends but you are stuck with me for life.

As I child anyway knew I would be something, as an adult I am not sure what “something” means. However “thanks Patty P” I someway some how god blessed me with Patty. She was going through her “times” and I was chugging forward. Through her toughest times I somehow became the Dan “man “ I was supposed to be.

Times are tough again for everyone, gas, food, and even lights seem like a luxury to many. (me included) When times get tough the tough get working. Work harder than you ever have. Sometimes that means parking elsewhere so the repo man doesn’t know where you car is. ( trust me I know) So often when you are giving your heart and soul looking for work, it is right in front of you.

I want to close this blog with only one this (a record for me!) Enjoy today because tomorrow is not here and yesterday is gone. Smile, laugh and love more. However most of all, Forgive the past, cause if you don’t it will bother you forever!
Live Long, Live Happy, and Smile More!!!!!!
Dan hart

Emotions

Today I sit here at my computer lost for words to blog. In my heart & mind I have some many things to say. You see emotions are crazy. I know what I want to say but I can't find the words. Lately I have had so many things going on in my mind. I love my mom more than I can find the words to say. Everyday that goes by I see her weaker than the last time I saw her. Truth is she can barely walk on her own sometimes. Inside I feel like I'm dying sometimes. I find myself reminiscing about the times that we have shared. The moments that she held my hand. The laughs we shared. Why am I feeling all of these emotions? Truth is I am afraid of losing her. I can't imagine life without her. I am having trouble writing this blog right now, it's very hard to talk about it. I know this is short but please remember it is heartfelt. I will blog again soon. Until next time don't be afraid of emotions. Laura Hart

Lung Cancer, The Silent Killer

When 44-year-old Dana Reeve sang Madison Square Garden she showed no sign she was battling lung cancer. Two months later she died. Lung Cancer acts quickly, one of the reasons it is called the silent killer.

Dana's death becomes a dramatic reminder that lung cancer strikes even non-smokers.

In an emotional broadcast in April 2005, longtime ABC News anchor Peter Jennings revealed that he was ill. Four months later Jennings died at home. His passing put a temporary spotlight on the country's most stigmatized and lethal cancer.

Even in Washington, where the number of smokers has dropped and cigarettes are banned from public places, lung cancer is the number-one cancer killer. Often overshadowed by pink ribbons and yellow wrist bands, the cancer has few advocates.

It is rare to hear about lung cancer in the news even though someone is diagnosed with lung cancer every two minutes. It is estimated that 60% of new lung cancer diagnoses will be in non-smokers - a combination of former smokers (many who quit 10, 20, even 30 years prior to the onset of lung cancer) and people who have never smoked. In 2008 it is projected lung cancer will kill three times as many men as prostate cancer and twice as many women as breast cancer.

Being the son of someone living with lung cancer one of the most common questions I get is “does your mother smoke?” In my case yes my mother did smoke. I also smoked until only two weeks ago. Many people feel that lung cancer is brought on by the patient themselves. Oddly when I met someone that has cervical cancer I don’t ask what kind of STD they had in the past. That is just something that does not happen.

In a world where as children we could buy candy cigarettes, you watched Tom and Jerry smoke on Saturday morning cartoons; I find it odd that lung cancer is still not talked about.

According to scenesmoking.org, tobacco use in films is back to levels not seen since the 1950's.

The Web site reports that 80 percent of movies rated PG-13 now have smoking and leading actors light up 60 percent of the time. Additional studies confirm it's one of the main reasons kids try their first cigarette.

Help us make a change. If you smoke put it out. Educate your children about the risks of smoking. Smoking is the leading cause of lung cancer, but it is not the only cause. On March 8, 2009, I will be participating in Breath of Hope San Diego Lung Cancer Walk. Click here to sponsor our team. If you can give a dollar great, if you can give more even better. If you can’t give any money please be sure to tell your friends and family about this walk. We can no longer afford for lung cancer to be the silent killer.