Comforting Words

Sometimes I can't find the words to tell myself or my family members to help get through this. Tomorrow is mom's appointment with the radiologist. I must admit I am a bit nervous. What will radiation do to mom? I keep wondering how she will get through it? I know she will but how sick will she get before it's over? Chemo really did it's work on mom. There were days she didn't even look like my mom. That is very hard for me to see. I know that together as a family we can do this but I still can't find those comforting words. I wonder if I ever will. I say a prayer to the lord above every night. It's funny how things are. I have always believed in the lord but I never regularly said prayers. Now I say one every night before bed. I pray that he will watch over my mom & get her through this. I pray for my family. I know we will get through this. Someone told me today to remember it will have it's ups & downs. Boy you can say that again! Mom just got out of the hospital yesterday, after a 4 day stay. You see she was going to have this procedure to insert a tube into her lung so she could breath better, however they weren't able to do the procedure because her tumor is to large & hard. So the next day she told me she felt awful. Like she had been hit by a car. All I could think was dam what's happening to my mom now?? She told me she couldn't move her arms or legs. It turns out she had a bad reaction to the anesthesia. Mom is better now. Hopefully no more trips to the hospital anytime soon. Well I'm going to end this with Remember you might always not be able to find comforting words, that's ok just listen.

With love until next time Laura

WHAT CANCER CAN NOT DO

WHAT CANCER CAN NOT DO
LUNG CANCER IS SO LIMITED…..
IT CAN NOT SILENCE COURAGE,
IT CAN NOT CORRODE FAITH,
IT CAN NOT STEAL ETERNAL LIFE,
IT CAN NOT DESTROY PEACE,
IT CAN NOT INVADE THE SOUL,
IT CAN NOT CRIPPLE LOVE
IT CAN NOT CORRODE EARTH
IT CAN NOT KILL FRIENDSHIPS
WHAT CANCER CAN DO…..
IT CAN NOT SILENCE COURAGE, IT ALLOWS YOU TO SPEAK WITH NEW VOICES
IT CAN NOT CORRODE FAITH, IT BRINGS YOU CLOSER TO GOD
IT CAN NOT DESTROY PEACE, IT ALLOWS YOU TO BRING MORE PEACE INTO YOUR LIFE
IT CAN NOT INVADE THE SOUL, IT ALLOWS YOU TO FIND YOUR SOUL AND REDEFINE IT
IT CAN NOT CRIPPLE LOVE, IT SHOWS YOU WHO REALLY LOVES YOU
IT CAN NOT CORRODE EARTH, IT ALLOWS YOU TO MAKE BETTER CHOICES FOR THOSE YOU LOVE
IT CAN NOT KILL FRIENDSHIPS, IT ALLOWS FRIENDSHIPS TO GROW TO AMAZING LEVEL
AFTER EVERYTHING IS SAID AND DONE, CANCER IS A BLESSING, IT BRINGS FAMILIES TOGETHER, REUNITES FRIENDS AND GIVE A RENEWED APPRECIATION FOR LIFE.

I BORROWED THE TOP PORTION OF THIS, BUT THE BOTTOM COMES FROM HEART, SOUL AND MIND
DAN HART

Dan can't type but audio works (its really 2009)

Strive to Live Longer

Well here goes another day with bad news. I knew mom had a doctor appointment today at about 730am or so my wife text me and says that Brittnee’s friend that had spend the night was crying and upset and wasn't feeling to well. I kinda of knew that she was more than likely faking the problem but who knows kids can be kids and Jazmine tells her this is a very important doctors visit like every other one that there has been. So at about 1030 I get a phone call from Jaz stating that moms tumors have grown by 40 percent from last visit and the chemo has stopped working> At that moment I dropped the phone and the tears started flowing as I was sitting at my desk at work its kinda of strange its always at work when I get these FUCKING phone calls. How do you stop your emotions from flowing? I finish the phone call with Jaz and the boss looks at me and asks me what’s wrong? Before I said anything he knew it was mom. Ii go and compose myself and come back and finish the day. Everyone I work with knows something is wrong and I have to explain it to 10 different people. They all know moms situation and know tears will come out a couple of them stated to go home. Why go home, I will just think about it more than I already do with staying at work it takes my mind off it somewhat. Then my sister calls and states mom calls and ask her how she is doing. I guess the best we all can be doing. Mom also tells sis have you thought about the day when she will be out of time and our we prepared for that day IE funeral arrangements and all I think it will ease moms mind knowing that will be taken care of. She knows she is dying she just doesn't know when her time is. I have said to my brother and sister that we should be prepared for that day as bad as I don't want to be i know it is coming. SHIT ISNT IT COMING FOR ALL OF US? The point I am trying to make is that who knows what goes through a cancer patients mind maybe knowing that little bit of information might make them strive to live longer. Mom has been a fighter and she will get through this. Now mom starts radiation on 1-13-09 and we will see how that works in closing I want to thank to all my family and friends that continue to support me in this journey of my life

With Much Love
Jeffrey J Hart

I can't find the words this time

Hello again everyone. Today was not a good day. Today was mom's follow up appointment. The news was not good. It seems moms tumors are getting bigger instead of smaller. I feel today like I felt the day Dr. Channick first told us mom had lung cancer. This is an awful disease. We really need to get the word out. Mom is now feeling like she is back at ground zero. Truly it seems like she is. She now has to go through it all over again except this time it's going to be more. Radiation & chemo. I know we will get through this again. It will be tough but we are a strong family & life is all about obstacles. I am going to close now, I know this is short but I am a little lost for words today. In closing remember to get the word out on lung cancer. We can do this.
With love,
Laura

An Audio from Liz

Listen to the complete audio diary here

A lot can change in 7 minutes

Today I was online cruising around checking out the job market, playing on facebook and myspace when I got an email from my sister. “Guess who I found on myspace brother” She had found a friend of her’s that was actually a friend of the family since the mid 80’s. Oddly I was on facebook just the other day looking for the older sisters, one of which was my roommate in the early 90’s.
Well 7 minutes after the email arrived my sister called me. I knew mom had a Doctor’s appointment today however it was only 10:30 am California time so I did not expect to hear anything that quick. My sister starts out in a somber voice, “hey brother, I wanted to call you before you got a text, mom’s tumors have grown and that’s why she is having trouble breathing and going to the bathroom”. Once again it’s a tough thing to hear when you are 350 miles away, yet less than perfect news is becoming something I am used to. It had only been 7 minutes between my sisters email saying she had found a friend from the past. It amazes me how fast a mood can change.
Dan Hart
www.LizMartocciLungCancerFoundation.org