Monday, December 29, 2008

Very Inspiring

Hello everyone, As I struggle with my everyday troubles today I sit here feeling blessed. I just got off the phone with a close friend of mine who is going through her own life troubles. She asked me "Laura you have 4 kids how do you do it all by yourself?" All I could say to her is that my belief is that God will not give you anything he doesn't believe you can't handle. She told me I was her role model. Imagine that. Me being someone's role model? All I did was tell her everything would be ok. And I truly believe that. I still struggle with the thought of losing mom lately more than I use to. The holidays have passed and I really enjoyed them this year. Things were done a little differently this year than in years past. I really enjoyed them. I thought the holidays would be somewhat tougher this year because quite honestly I'm not sure if we will continue to have them all together again. Mom has been up and down lately. All I want is for her to get better. It's hard for me to see her coughing so hard that she can't breathe, and then she has a headache for an hour afterwards. I know together as a family we will get through this one step at a time. Things have been a little slow lately for the foundation. I can only hope things will pick up. I am eager to get the word out for awareness of this awful disease. Please as you read our blogs pass on the word to get the awareness out there. Anyway until next time I will leave you with this: You may never know who looks up to you. It's possible that you too are someone’s role model. Remember that anything is possible. Live, love & prosper.
Laura Hart

Friday, December 19, 2008

Remember to cherish every moment

Well today is Friday. It has been a particulary long week for me. I am struggling with finals and mom being sick again. On Monday morning I made my usual call to mom, however this time was different. She was crying. She was bleeding and didn't know why. I told her she would be fine and not to worry. However in my mind I was breaking down. Towards the end of the conversation mom said she doesn't want to die and she's not ready to die. At that moment I couldn't hold it any longer. I too started to cry telling her she's not going any where and she would be just fine. But honestly I wasn't sure myself. I am at a point now that I cherish every moment with her because I never no when the last might be. Well I relieved my brother Jeff at the hospital at about 6 & didn't leave until around 2:30 am when mom finally got a room. I have had many long nights like this but never imagined so close to Christmas this would happen again. It's now the end of the week and after 3 days mom is back home. Doing better than before. I must close this now because the tears are starting to roll, but in closing I want to say, Remember to cherish every moment like it's your last. Love and appreciate everyone you love always not just when they are sick.

With love until next time,

Thursday, December 18, 2008

it’s been a very long while

Hello all, it’s been a very long while since I have blogged so where do I start well mom’s progress is doing well. She has completed her last chemo cycle we will see what will be the next step to her full recovery. Funny as I say that the beginning of the week was a very scary and a step back. Reality this disease is on, Monday morning I get a call from my wife and she says “mom called her about some bleeding she was having and she needs to go to the emergency room”. I can’t imagine what’s going through her mind but when I got that call it was hard even though it wasn’t the first time that I had gotten a call about mom having to go the hospital.
Here we go a couple of days before Christmas mom back in the hospital wondering what’s going on with her body. As I got to the hospital mom asks “what are u doing here “I say “I want to be here with your ups and downs.” Mom really would rather us spend our day at work than worry about her. How can you stay and focused not knowing what’s going on with her. Everybody states you have to be strong, how can you be strong and not worry so much about her health. That’s why I have my best friend Cameron come over when things like this come up because I can express my feelings to him and not get judged about how this is really affecting me mentally. However I have to be strong for mom’s full recovery. Sometimes I wondering how my brother is really doing being that he lives in Phoenix and is not around the corner when that phone call comes and can’t be by mom’s side like we are. It’s got to be taking a toll when one of us calls and he doesn’t answer is phone and we leave a voice mail. Then he listens, what goes through your mind. I know for me that moment the world stops. A sense of panic comes to play. I know when mom has to go to the hospital she is in the best hands possible so that is somewhat a relief. In closing I would like to say that through these journeys in our lives we have to strong but really what is the definition of strong.

With love Jeffrey J Hart

Monday, December 15, 2008

Tough Year End

Just the other day I was reflecting on the year and the year as the foundation president. I began to compose a blog however I did not finish due to emotions. ( I promise to finish it soon and post it)
Today has been nothing less than a tough day. I awoke to a message from Jazmine, my sister in law, saying mom had extreme bleeding and she was going to the hospital. I called mom to see what was going on and how she was. It was 9:30am AZ time, only 8:30 CA time when I spoke to mom. Mom and Jazmine were already on the way to UCSD La Jolla. Mom told me what was going on with her. She took a shower and went to the restroom after. She said she had filled the toilet with blood. She was scared and crying and need to blow her nose when she noticed the tissue was also full of blood. She called Jazmine as she was scared. Jazmine called the nurse who said she needed to get to the hospital.
That was 8:45 am CA time……. Fast forward…… Mom had a palette transfusion. Her 3rd I think since chemo has begun. I say I think simply because I live in AZ and I do not get to be there every time.
It’s almost 9pm as I type this (CA time) and mom is still waiting for a hospital room. They want to keep her overnight to make sure the bleeding is only due to platelets (so I am told). My brother, sister in law, sister and dad have been with her throughout the day. I have been next to the phone all day waiting for a call from one of them to give me an update. My sister called me two hours ago saying mom would have a room by 10pm CA time. I am still waiting for the phone to ring.
Today as many is one of the days I wish I could just pick up and move back to San Diego. One of those days I wish I was there to hold my mom’s hand, as I know she is scared. One of those days I could tell her it’s all going to be ok, without a crack in my voice. One of those days when I could make it all right. It has been anything but one of those days.
I look forward to the day when my mom has great grand children. She is looking forward to it as am I. I will be an awesome great uncle just as I am an uncle.
Today is tough simply because everything was going so well. My family all came out here to AZ for Thanksgiving. We had a great time. I am going to San Diego for Christmas. I know we will have even a better time. It’s just really tough being so far away from my mom when she goes through such tough times. I do have to thank her for, yet again, making me a stronger man. Today is a tribute to that. This morning I sat here in Phoenix and wondered what I would do if I were bleeding from both ends. I don’t think I would do much more than my mom did. I would make sure those that I love know it, I make sure they have a special place in my in my heart.
Well as always I went on to long. I need to close and wait for my sister to call me.
With Love and Gratitude,
Dan Hart