Thursday, December 18, 2008

it’s been a very long while

Hello all, it’s been a very long while since I have blogged so where do I start well mom’s progress is doing well. She has completed her last chemo cycle we will see what will be the next step to her full recovery. Funny as I say that the beginning of the week was a very scary and a step back. Reality this disease is on, Monday morning I get a call from my wife and she says “mom called her about some bleeding she was having and she needs to go to the emergency room”. I can’t imagine what’s going through her mind but when I got that call it was hard even though it wasn’t the first time that I had gotten a call about mom having to go the hospital.
Here we go a couple of days before Christmas mom back in the hospital wondering what’s going on with her body. As I got to the hospital mom asks “what are u doing here “I say “I want to be here with your ups and downs.” Mom really would rather us spend our day at work than worry about her. How can you stay and focused not knowing what’s going on with her. Everybody states you have to be strong, how can you be strong and not worry so much about her health. That’s why I have my best friend Cameron come over when things like this come up because I can express my feelings to him and not get judged about how this is really affecting me mentally. However I have to be strong for mom’s full recovery. Sometimes I wondering how my brother is really doing being that he lives in Phoenix and is not around the corner when that phone call comes and can’t be by mom’s side like we are. It’s got to be taking a toll when one of us calls and he doesn’t answer is phone and we leave a voice mail. Then he listens, what goes through your mind. I know for me that moment the world stops. A sense of panic comes to play. I know when mom has to go to the hospital she is in the best hands possible so that is somewhat a relief. In closing I would like to say that through these journeys in our lives we have to strong but really what is the definition of strong.

With love Jeffrey J Hart

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