Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Strive to Live Longer

Well here goes another day with bad news. I knew mom had a doctor appointment today at about 730am or so my wife text me and says that Brittnee’s friend that had spend the night was crying and upset and wasn't feeling to well. I kinda of knew that she was more than likely faking the problem but who knows kids can be kids and Jazmine tells her this is a very important doctors visit like every other one that there has been. So at about 1030 I get a phone call from Jaz stating that moms tumors have grown by 40 percent from last visit and the chemo has stopped working> At that moment I dropped the phone and the tears started flowing as I was sitting at my desk at work its kinda of strange its always at work when I get these FUCKING phone calls. How do you stop your emotions from flowing? I finish the phone call with Jaz and the boss looks at me and asks me what’s wrong? Before I said anything he knew it was mom. Ii go and compose myself and come back and finish the day. Everyone I work with knows something is wrong and I have to explain it to 10 different people. They all know moms situation and know tears will come out a couple of them stated to go home. Why go home, I will just think about it more than I already do with staying at work it takes my mind off it somewhat. Then my sister calls and states mom calls and ask her how she is doing. I guess the best we all can be doing. Mom also tells sis have you thought about the day when she will be out of time and our we prepared for that day IE funeral arrangements and all I think it will ease moms mind knowing that will be taken care of. She knows she is dying she just doesn't know when her time is. I have said to my brother and sister that we should be prepared for that day as bad as I don't want to be i know it is coming. SHIT ISNT IT COMING FOR ALL OF US? The point I am trying to make is that who knows what goes through a cancer patients mind maybe knowing that little bit of information might make them strive to live longer. Mom has been a fighter and she will get through this. Now mom starts radiation on 1-13-09 and we will see how that works in closing I want to thank to all my family and friends that continue to support me in this journey of my life

With Much Love
Jeffrey J Hart

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