"Emotions"

Today I sit here at my computer a little lost for words. I feel all the emotions inside. Earlier today I had a conversation with my brother Dan. He told me we need to start thinking about what's going to happen to dad when mom goes. I must be honest and tell you that this is a thought I don't want to ponder. The reality is that mom is going sooner or later. We really should be thinking about what's going to happen to everyone when that time comes. I don't want to think about that. I don't fear much of anything, I mean even death. I have conversations with a girlfriend of mine who says she fears death. I don't think I do really. I do fear losing my mom. How can I continue on without her? Who will I call on the way to work for 15 minutes and talk to every morning. Who will be the first person I call on Saturday & Sunday mornings? I know that statiscally mom's time is short. I can only hope & pray that she will beat the odds. But the reality once again is that mom's body is getting tired. Though emotionally she wants/needs to fight to keep going, how much longer can her weak, frail body continue this fight? I spent Valentines day with my mom & it was great. She actually ate all of her lunch. I was so proud of her! It took a lot out of her though to go to the store & lunch. I am patient with her & tell her to take her time & get what she needs. Well I can't continue much longer the tears are flowing. Until next time, take care all my love, Laura