Both my brother and sister have asked what is “strong”. Trust me I ask myself that all the time. Well www.m-w.com says
1: having or marked by great physical power
2: having moral or intellectual power
3: having great resources (as of wealth or talent)
4: of a specified number
5 a: striking or superior of its kind, a strong resemblance, b: effective or efficient especially in a specified direction -strong on watching other people work — A. Alvarez
The only way I know to deal with my own pain is to point out my brother, sister and I, WE all have all of these.
1: having or marked by great physical power, We have god and the Universe Working for us.
2: having moral or intellectual power, We have intellectual power, together we are all smarter
3: having great resources (as of wealth or talent) We have amazing resources, we showed that when the foundation started.
4: of a specified number
5 a: striking or superior of its kind (a strong resemblance) b: effective or efficient especially in a specified direction strong on watching other people work — A. Alvarez
We are working as hard as we know how to, to help those living with lung cancer. www.LizMartocciLungCancerFoundation.org
The last 48 hours have been painful. I sit waiting by the phone. This morning I talked to my mom. I was caught off guard, as mom sounded good. I could tell she was tired but she never let on to the pain. I often wonder if she does it for me, or because she actually feels ok. Then I hang up the phone and wonder if her physical pain is similar or worse to the emotional paid I am feeling. I am a member of inspire.com and I know there are people dealing with lung cancer sometimes say things to make those “not diagnosed” feel better, but the road works both ways. Just Friday I was talking to my mom when I had to pause to compose myself. As much I try to be “strong” in this example maybe #1 works. Its fricken HARD.
It’s hard for so many reasons. Because I am not there for my mom, because I am not there for my family. How does pops feel? This must be crushing him inside. I can only imagine the pressure on his chest is similar to the pressure on my mom’s colon.
In ending this blog, I am going to close with the fact I slept maybe 3 hours last night. Somehow I think my mind will only allow me to do the same tonight. Cancer takes a toll on everyone involved. My roommates feel it, co-workers, my friends (outside of my amazing roommates) my dog, the guy at Fresh and Easy feels it. Cancer is something that once it has touched you in a personal way affects your being. You can do one of two things, let it affect you, or affect it! Kick Cancer in the Rear!!!!!
It's 9:43 Cali time and I text my mom to see if she was up, she said "No have a little pain tried trying to get a little shut i". I text her back and told her "I loved her and sweet dreams."
Join us March 8th for the First San Diego Lung Cancer Walk